If every choice has a consequence, then why do we choose so badly?

Choices, beautiful traps in the guise of freedom. They say we are free to choose our path – but they forgot to mention that we are equally free to dig our own grave. Because even though we know that our choices have consequences – and we're not talking about little pebbles in a lake, but real emotional tsunamis – most of us seem completely inept when it comes to... well, choosing. 

Are we stupid? Lazy? Both? Or just victims of a system where choosing badly is more convenient, but accepted, even more profitable?

This simple article is a small, sarcastic, philosophical and somewhat acidic dive into the depths of this cruelly relevant question: why, after all, do we choose so badly?

The Paradox of Choice in the Age of Abundance

We are living in the age of ‘anything is possible.’ Endless shelves of products, paths, lifestyles, courses, dating apps, careers, diets, spiritualities, and religions, all ready for quick consumption. But contrary to what the status quo suggests, more options do not necessarily mean better choices. It often means paralysis.

Sartre, from the height of his keen vision, shouted: ‘We are condemned to be free.’ Simone de Beauvoir added to this cry with: ‘... freedom without responsibility is an illusion...’ And what do we do with this freedom? We buy cigarettes, accept toxic jobs for fear of change, marry for convenience and/or need, eat pizza at 3 a.m. and then blame our metabolism.

The irony of it all is that freedom paralyses us, and the more options we have, the worse the decision. Yes, and this is not just bar talk. Psychologist Barry Schwartz shows that the ‘paradox of choice’ is real. In his work, he demonstrates with data that too many options lead to anxiety, indecision and regret. Therefore, many options do not liberate us, but rather suffocate us. And our brain, my dear, is a lazy conservative that loves mental shortcuts. The result? Quick, dumb choices and addiction to the same old habits.

The logic is actually quite simple: when everything is possible, nothing is satisfactory. And this constant dissatisfaction pushes us towards hasty decisions based on impulses, which are always easier to justify afterwards with an ‘oh well, at least I tried’ than facing the frustration of choosing consciously.

Another interesting point here is that we love to confuse having options with being free. Freedom is not — and never has been — about quantity of choice, but rather quality in decision-making. Real freedom requires responsibility. And between us, responsibility is not on the wish list of the vast majority of people.

Bad Choices: Are They Genetic or Just Contemporary Stupidity?

Going back a little in our timeline, let's say that Homo sapiens evolved to survive, not to be happy. Our brains still operate with reward systems developed in the Stone Age. This explains why we choose immediate pleasure over long-term well-being. It's the classic trade-off of inner peace for five minutes of dopamine. 

It is undeniable that we are surrounded by manipulative stimuli. Advertising, algorithms, social media gurus — all ready to decide for us. The result? Thoughtless, unconscious, and automated decisions. In an age of infinite information, we are emotionally illiterate, hostages to our own misunderstood desires.

An Old Debate, but Always Relevant

But this whole story is nothing new. Good old Socrates already said that the problem is not not knowing, it is thinking you know. We are in the midst of a ‘pseudo-knowledge’ epidemic. Everyone has an opinion on everything, and many, especially on what they do not understand. When someone thinks they know enough to decide, in reality, they know nothing, and disaster is guaranteed.

Socrates said that the key lies in ‘knowing yourself’, something that, in my opinion, few people are interested or willing to do. Understandable, after all, self-knowledge takes work, time and energy, hurts the ego, and everyone knows that the ego loves easy choices.

Nietzsche kicked us in the gut with the idea that living is asserting oneself in chaos. It's almost funny, most of us prefer the comfort zone, where decisions are outsourced to leaders, companies, algorithms, gurus, tarot readers, parents, spouses, friends, and so on. Choosing autonomously also means accepting the weight of the consequences, and that requires courage — a virtue that is unfortunately becoming extinct.

Simone de Beauvoir, for her part, didn't let us off the hook, reminding us that we are free, yes, but also responsible for what we choose to be. And since no one likes to admit that they are the author of their own bad soap opera, we prefer to blame the horoscope, the movement of the planets, our childhood, our parents, the devil, etc. Responsibility has never been glamorised, but it is what defines whether we will continue to make bad choices or start deciding with a little more awareness.

Pattern Repetition and the Curse of Procrastination

Ah, but to err is human. Yes, it is. But repeating the same mistake is foolish—and turning it into a habit is almost a work of modern art. Bad choices never happen in isolation. They always come in packages, like a supermarket promotion: ‘Buy one bad decision now and get three future regrets for free!’

Now, if there is one thing that undermines good decisions, it is the famous ‘I'll start on Monday’. Putting off a decision is often the same as choosing to give up. Those who put things off will eventually trip over them. Procrastination gives us a false sense of control — ‘I'll choose when I choose’ — but in practice, we are only postponing the inevitable. People who procrastinate live in hope of last-minute divine inspiration.

Self-deception and Laziness of Thinking

It's super comfortable to deceive ourselves. When we make a wrong decision, our brain goes into defence mode and starts creating plausible justifications for what we know deep down was a mistake.

Psychology calls this cognitive dissonance, the old mental discomfort caused by thinking one thing and doing another. Instead of facing our mistakes head-on, we prefer to rewrite history — ‘it wasn't that bad...’, ‘better than nothing...’, ‘I'll never do that again...’.

And so we go on, throwing justifications at questionable choices, like someone building a castle on a swamp. At that point, the question remains: Is all this fear of making mistakes or laziness in thinking?

Ah, cruel little question. Many bad decisions are made not out of ignorance, but out of sheer laziness to reflect. Thinking is hard work, it takes energy, and in some cases it even hurts. So it's no wonder that most people prefer to delegate this task to others.

The fear of making mistakes does paralyse us, but laziness numbs us. And, in the midst of this existential limbo, choices are made by everyone and everything, except the person who should actually be making them. We often think we are in control, but we are just clicking ‘accept all cookies’ in life without reading the terms and conditions.

The Outsourcing of Thinking

Man, I have nothing against people seeking advice, I've done it myself, but today we have a veritable industry selling ready-made recipes for life. It's obvious that the amorphous masses no longer feel the need to seek, study and apply things for themselves. There are coaches for everything, from finances to existential purpose. And the most interesting thing is that crowds follow the formulas of these ‘experts’ as if they were sacred manuals, without reflecting, without questioning. As if what they teach really made sense to everyone, and if something goes wrong, it's the client's fault for not doing it right — obvious. 

We are in the era of outsourcing thinking. ‘So-and-so said this is the best path for me, so I'm going to take it.’ And if it goes wrong? It's the fault of the person who said it. Convenient, isn't it? There are people following the advice of a 15-second dance video and still wondering why they made the wrong choice.

Practices to Avoid (or at least try to avoid) Making Bad Choices

Alright, life is chaotic, society is lost, social media manipulates us, the media only lies, and our brains love to sabotage us. Since it's always someone else's fault, we might as well stay calm, because all is not lost. 

People don't value what is given for free (if you want to buy us a coffee, click here), but even so, I'm going to offer some suggestions. If you want to do it, do it; if you don't, don't. It's your responsibility.

• Meditate - it's not hippie talk, it's a tool for self-awareness and self-control.

• Breathe before deciding anything - impulse is the enemy of clarity.

• Question your intentions - why are you choosing this? Will it bring you closer to your goal?

• Write - put your options on paper, read them aloud. How do they sound? Sometimes that's the only way to realise how stupid certain ideas are.

• Avoid making decisions when you're feeling emotional - emotions completely distort the reality of the situation.

• Make lists of pros and cons - be pragmatic like Ross. In these cases, it's a simple and effective tool.

• Conduct a risk analysis — what could go right? What could go wrong? I know, it's scary, but it helps a lot.

• Study your past choices — mistakes teach more than coaches, if you let them, of course.

• Go to therapy - yes, a GOOD therapist (they are few and far between, but they do exist) will help you see beyond your own excuses.

• Have a ‘personal advisory board’ - (this is for those who need other people's opinions), sensible friends are worth their weight in gold.

• Use the ‘next week’ technique - imagine the effects of your decision in the future.

• Consult experts - I mean real experts, you don't need to know everything, so you can listen to those who really understand the subject.

• Read - about philosophy, neuroscience, psychology... extremely useful, they help a lot to understand your own chaos.

• Practise critical reading - read books by authors who have different opinions from yours. This helps to expand your mind and decision-making repertoire.

• Avoid mental multitasking - decisions require focus.

• Study other cases - learn from the successes (and mistakes) of others, but without becoming paranoid. Other people's experiences are a free MBA, just be careful when choosing which ones to analyse.

• Accept your mistakes - they are part of life, just don't use them as an excuse to repeat them.

• Take a strategic break - sleep on it before deciding, wait 24 hours. Urgency is the enemy of wisdom.

• Review your beliefs - do they still make sense to you? Or are they just useless emotional nonsense?

• Analyse your habits - life is made up of repetitions, not isolated moments. However, habits and addictions form in the same place in your brain.

• Come up with a plan B - if it goes wrong, what will you do? For some people, having alternatives gives them more confidence to take risks.

STOP!

Yes, that's right. Stop. Breathe. Think. Reflect on what you really want, not what you think you should want. Choosing well is not about having all the answers, but about asking the right questions. 

Preferring the illusion of control to the discipline of self-knowledge is not a sin. Therefore, it is necessary to stop being impulsive and emotionally disorganised. We live in a society where we are bombarded by external influences, and yet there are still people who think they are in control. 

Want to change that? Start by understanding your patterns. Stop following advice that promises eternal fulfilment and happiness. Accept that you and your life can be much more complex than simply following the technique in a dance video! The idea is to take the first step towards making less stupid decisions.

Remember:

1. Even not choosing is a choice, and it will also have consequences. The price of omission is usually higher than that of action.

2. There is no magic formula for making good decisions. What exists are practices and cultivating the habit of thinking, questioning, and taking responsibility.

3. If you are the type of person who thinks that others choose better than you, you are probably only looking at the result and not the process. No one posts the drama of indecision, only the success of the choice.

4. Regret stems from the illusion that there is an ‘ideal choice.’ There isn't.

5. Choosing is a skill like any other, which means it improves with time, reflection, and sincere self-criticism.

And if you've made it this far, congratulations. That was a good choice. So I invite you to continue this journey. Read the other articles on the blog, comment, criticise, suggest topics and send us your questions. But if you want to dive deeper, visit our UN4RT website, our backstage of exclusive and free content, for those who don't have sensitive ears and eyes.

‘The illusion crumbles when we question reality’ – UN4RT

Would you like to take a look at the sources, references and inspirations for this article? I thought so. Here you go, they're all there.

• Jean-Paul Sartre, Huis Clos (No Exit) and Being and Nothingness.

• Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex.

• Barry Schwarz, The Paradox of Choice.

• Socrates, Apology of Socrates (written by Plato).

• Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra and Beyond Good and Evil.

• Ross Geller, character from the series ‘Friends’ in the episode ‘The One with the List’ (Season 2, Episode 4), he makes a list of pros and cons to decide whether to stay with Julie (his current girlfriend) or Rachel (who he has always been in love with).